Do Over Please?

I am embarking on the first large public showing of my  Art work and I could not be more excited for several reasons. I have never had an opportunity to create something for myself from start to finish.  Every painting I have created I actually like very much. I set out with little agenda other than to paint something that I like in the end.  I paint for one person and that is me.  Everyday I go to work just like you do except I do not leave the confines of my home.  I get up, have my coffee, kiss my family goodbye, do a 30 minute meditation, then head to my studio.  From there, I turn on the radio and continue to paint until I get hungry.  I usually afford myself lunch and then I get back to it. This sounds pretty routine but it is anything from that.

You see, almost 5 years ago I had been working for a large corporation as a Business Development Manager.  As 16 years past I grew into an adult with this company.  Starting in my early twenties I got up everyday somewhere between 4 and 6 am.  I took a shower, put on a black, blue, or tan suit and headed out the door until I returned around 6:30 pm.

I learned how to conduct business for the most part with a closely monitored  company script.  As a young adult from my very first day on the job I was told by my overseers exactly what to do, what to say, and how to be successful.  I was told how to act, what to wear and became completely indoctrinated in a results-oriented corporate culture. If you could choose words to describe my world it would include: Competitive, Disciplined, Aggressive, Fear-Based, and Inflexible.  I read hundreds of books on leadership and clocked thousands of hours in leadership training.  By the end of my corporate road, I had garnered considerable business acumen having negotiated contracts that would net my organization millions of dollars, built a large Rolodex of Fortune 500 decision makers, and  I knew enough to run a fast-paced technology business.

In terms of developing relationships and understanding how business is conducted I am grateful for that experience as these skills are second nature to me now.  But my environment and my life has changed almost 100% and I would like to thank my love of making Art for that.

My former career can’t compare to the immense passion, vulnerability, and healing that leading a creative life has afforded me.  As a person I no longer numb my creativity by giving away every ounce of my self-worth and energy to a third-party.  I have learned to trust myself and my inherent decision-making which is something my former career would not tolerate.  The idea of learning something new each day has kept me curious and has increased my awareness for the the world around me.   I welcome meaningful connections and am grateful for the unique opportunities that come my way.

This Art Exhibition is a big deal for many reasons beyond the work that will be on display.  It represents a culmination of invaluable life lessons or “do overs” for me and I am extremely grateful for everyone who has encouraged me along my path.

Even though I have no idea where life will take me I am thankful for knowing that I am in place that is far more authentic than I have ever been,


See you at the show,


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *